Making the Right Deision in a Relationship

Getting married is one of the biggest decision you’ll ever make in your life. It’s a decision no one will make for you but you alone owns the decision to make and this you’ve to make right because it’s a life time agreement.  Here are eight (8) things that can make your right decision go the wrong way.

The biggest waste of effort in a marriage is trying to change your spouse, since the problems you have with your spouse are generally problems you have in yourself – When you try to change your spouse you come across as a nag and wind up sending the message that ‘who you are is not enough’. Nobody likes getting that message and it leads to distance and polarization. Let your spouse be who he or she is and focus on changing yourself. Accept your partner exactly as they are today.

You aren’t sure you are ready to settle down – You get along so well with your partner, yet you sense that you want to date different types of people before settling yourself to just one person. If that little voice in your head is telling you sign up for Mr A just to see who is just out there, you want to listen to it. There’s no reason to move forward with a wedding, only to find out later that you regret not playing the field a bit more before putting a ring on it.

All your friends have gotten married – You have been going to other people’s wedding for the past years, you seem to have a permanent seat at the bride and groom’s table. You are tired of being asked, ‘so when are you two going to tie the knot’? If you are feeling left out because all of your friends have become ‘Mr and Mrs’, expand your social circle to include other non-marrieds. This is a much healthier way to handle this situation than moving forward with a wedding, just because you hate being the last unmarried person on earth.


You think your partner has the potential to be the person you want to be with – Always have it in mind that, you want to marry the person your partner is, not the person you imagine they can be. While people do undergo some changes as they mature, they do not change fundamentally. Whoever your partner is right now is what they will always be. So entering a marriage thinking it will magically change your partner into being more responsible, more ambitious, more caring or more attentive to you is a huge mistake. People don’t change just because they exchange wedding rings.

Knowing your partner medical status – Often times, the medical aspect of life is most waved out in a relationship. This happens when the two lovers has gotten into each other, forgotten the journey is a long one, due to lack of this, these couple tends to face so many health issues ranging from giving birth to sickle cell children and many others. With this, frustration will set in your marriage.

Being pregnant for your partner does not make him your husband – Pregnancy without marriage is a mistake that shouldn’t get you into marriage except you feel the person is good for you.

Societal issues – Family pressure shouldn’t be the reason why your marriage should fail. Persistent question from your families or elders in your society is just an ordinary question; you own the right to your decision of when to get married. These people are not going to live your life for you, so if you have a partner that you aren’t sure of, still take your time to study him or her very well in other not to make a wrong decision.

Domestic violence – Your partner might not be violence towards you during your courtship with him but if your partner is violence towards others, definitely he or she is hiding something from you and someday, it’s going to be your turn. Make a quick and deep decision, ‘what does your heart says towards your partner’ is your mind saying to you ‘go on’ or ‘quit’. Every decision you take in your relationship must come from you, no one can do that best expect you and you alone. The decision you make today, put you in a position tomorrow in your marriage.     

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