Getting
married is one of the biggest decision you’ll ever make in your life. It’s a
decision no one will make for you but you alone owns the decision to make and
this you’ve to make right because it’s a life time agreement. Here are eight (8) things that can make your
right decision go the wrong way.
The biggest waste of effort in a
marriage is trying to change your spouse, since the problems you have with your
spouse are generally problems you have in yourself – When you try to change your spouse
you come across as a nag and wind up sending the message that ‘who you are is
not enough’. Nobody likes getting that message and it leads to distance and
polarization. Let your spouse be who he or she is and focus on changing
yourself. Accept your partner exactly as they are today.
You aren’t sure you are ready to settle down – You get along so well with your partner, yet you sense that you want to date different types of people before settling yourself to just one person. If that little voice in your head is telling you sign up for Mr A just to see who is just out there, you want to listen to it. There’s no reason to move forward with a wedding, only to find out later that you regret not playing the field a bit more before putting a ring on it.
All your friends have gotten married – You have been going to other
people’s wedding for the past years, you seem to have a permanent seat at the
bride and groom’s table. You are tired of being asked, ‘so when are you two
going to tie the knot’? If you are feeling left out because all of your friends
have become ‘Mr and Mrs’, expand your social circle to include other
non-marrieds. This is a much healthier way to handle this situation than moving
forward with a wedding, just because you hate being the last unmarried person
on earth.
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You think your partner has the
potential to be the person you want to be with – Always have it in mind that, you
want to marry the person your partner is, not the person you imagine they can
be. While people do undergo some changes as they mature, they do not change
fundamentally. Whoever your partner is right now is what they will always be.
So entering a marriage thinking it will magically change your partner into
being more responsible, more ambitious, more caring or more attentive to you is
a huge mistake. People don’t change just because they exchange wedding rings.
Knowing your partner medical status – Often times, the medical aspect of
life is most waved out in a relationship. This happens when the two lovers has
gotten into each other, forgotten the journey is a long one, due to lack of
this, these couple tends to face so many health issues ranging from giving
birth to sickle cell children and many others. With this, frustration will set
in your marriage.
Being pregnant for your partner does
not make him your husband – Pregnancy without marriage is a mistake that shouldn’t get you into
marriage except you feel the person is good for you.
Societal issues – Family pressure shouldn’t be the
reason why your marriage should fail. Persistent question from your families or
elders in your society is just an ordinary question; you own the right to your
decision of when to get married. These people are not going to live your life
for you, so if you have a partner that you aren’t sure of, still take your time
to study him or her very well in other not to make a wrong decision.
Domestic violence – Your partner might not be violence
towards you during your courtship with him but if your partner is violence
towards others, definitely he or she is hiding something from you and someday,
it’s going to be your turn. Make a quick and deep decision, ‘what does your
heart says towards your partner’ is your mind saying to you ‘go on’ or ‘quit’.
Every decision you take in your relationship must come from you, no one can do
that best expect you and you alone. The decision you make today, put you in a
position tomorrow in your marriage.
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